Personal Essay #3 First Draft

    It was extremely tempting to take this prompt as an opportunity to rave about my dearest celebrities. I could choose to speak about my favorite musical artists, my favorite actor, or my athlete of choice. As I began to envision my blossoming friendship with Leonardo Di Caprio, I took a step back and asked myself what neighbors were really for: pretty much nothing. 

A couple of considerations brought me to the conclusion that having a celebrity neighbor wouldn’t benefit my life. I thought to myself about my past experiences with my neighbors and reflected upon our interactions. I had friends who lived on the same street as me; one of my best friends who lived on my street was Aryan. Along with a group of kids from my neighborhood, we used to hang out outside all day, everyday during the summer. Shooting on basketball hoops, engaging in high-stakes football matches on his 20-yard field of patchy grass, and catching each other up on our progress in the Batman video games we were playing. He moved away to Atlanta two years ago, and I still treasure all the times we spent together in the heat. Looking back though, I realized that living on the same street did not contribute much to our friendship. As I have grown older, hanging out with my friends has become easier and easier. At this point in time, I rarely interact with the people on my street unless they are already my friends. While Aryan was a great friend, our status as neighbors was not a root cause of our friendship, but instead a convenience that made it easier to socialize. Being someone’s neighbor is not a gateway to friendship. My relationship with my current neighbors is more awkward than anything: most of all, I remember disputes over whose lawn ended where, and the slightest of head nods as I pull into the driveway of my home after school. If I was neighbors with a celebrity, in all likelihood we would not be close friends, but instead mind our own business and go our separate ways.

If I were truly to be a celebrity’s neighbor, the cons would far outweigh the pros. Ingrained into my mind are an endless amount of stories of celebrities interacting with the paparazzi in a hostile manner. I have heard and seen alarming tales in all forms of media, ranging from videos of cameramen parking outside the homes of superstars, to dark stories about being stalked. Regardless, I feel assured in saying that living a life adjacent to a person endlessly covered by the media would be chaotic, loud, and restless.  This all brings me to what may be my largest grievance with a high-profile celebrity neighbor: in most cases, my privacy would be decimated.
Living with a loud, high-profile celebrity neighbor would essentially be living with all the negative aspects of fame while reaping none of the positives. I would not enjoy the wealth that a celebrity enjoys, nor would I gain icon status or fame.  To be honest, if I were given the choice as to whether or not I would even have a celebrity neighbor, my answer would most likely be no. But since the essay prompt does not ask this, and instead asks “Who would be your ideal celebrity neighbor?” I must instead choose whichever celebrity would cause me the least trouble.  I would not want to spend my time in the frenzy of clamor, paparazzi, and chaos that comes with proximity to a high-profile celebrity. Thus, I would likely go with a B-list celebrity whose time in the spotlight has expired, whose influence in culture has dwindled, and who has essentially become irrelevant. Frankie Muniz, Shane West, and Taylor Momsen all strike me as perfect neighbors; and if you had to Google any of those names, then my choice was successful.